If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
