yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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