So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
