i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
