She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
