i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Randomize
