The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
