You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
