non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
