She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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