Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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