I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
