There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
