glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
