my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
