I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
