I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
