In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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