I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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