the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
