there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
