Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
