His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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