I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Man, jail baloney is awful.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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