We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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