Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
ttyl tear gas
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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