dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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