Kiss
Puke
I got chris browned last night
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
