Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
