dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
