yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
