And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Four minutes until I can fart!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
