One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There r osticjed everywhere
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We need a shit load of segways right now
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
