Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
