He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
