marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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