bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
