C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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