Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
