You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
