I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
