she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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