So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
