Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
