His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize