Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
