i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
