dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
