Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
