I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize