Screwed.edu
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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