i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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