I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
