i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
