i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
