You work out of a Hotel?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
