You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
