i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
