Nicole vs. Life
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
