Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
