She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize