If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
