Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize