I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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