Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. đź’€
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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